tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-86414357845287227032011-08-26T13:08:08.433+07:00Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comBlogger481100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-44157027949608081092010-04-23T11:05:00.002+07:002010-04-23T11:08:55.088+07:00I used to have very strong feelings against Thai people, especially red T-shirt people [note:<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_United_Front_of_Democracy_Against_Dictatorship"> the UDD party</a>].<br /><br />My heart was torn and feelings of anger overtook me whenever I heard another Cambodian was killed by Thai soldier. I hated them. I wanted to kill them if I saw them on the street. I thought that all Thai are bad people.<br /><br />But having attended CRT course, particularly the lessons on identity, stereotyping and discrimination, helped to heal me and released me from the bitterness and pain. I am now able to see that not all the Thai are bad people, just a few of those who committed crime only.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: right;">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-4415702794960808109?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-57180500964268780372010-04-23T11:03:00.001+07:002010-04-23T11:05:06.782+07:00My sister and I have had conflict long time; I had very strong feelings against her every time I see her or hear her name. I thought holding a grudge on her would punish her, I thought I was punishing her.<br /><br />After a lesson on forgiveness I realized I was punishing my self. I was suffering in side me when I saw or heard her name. I learned that when I start to let go of my grudge on her it helped me to heal. I felt released from the bitterness and strong feelings. When I really forgive her from my heart I experience freedom in my heart.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: right;">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-5718050096426878037?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-62888413103467451902010-04-23T10:59:00.001+07:002010-04-23T11:03:03.180+07:00In my position as a pastor of a church, church members came to me for help about the problem they experience in their lives. I got used the habit of criticizing the one who came to me when they did things that I did not like. I judged the people who I don’t like. For those who under my supervision or lower than my position I quickly tried to fix the problem for them without taking time to listen to them.<br /><br />After I attended the Part A of Conflict Resolution and Transformation, I realized did not offer good listening qualities for people who bring their problem to me for help. I now listen to people who bring their problem to me with the quality I learned from Peace Bridges like not interrupting, judging, criticizing, trusting that the person who bring his/er problem to me will have the answer.<br /><br />I listened to a lady who had conflict with her husband and the conflict almost cost their marriage. I listened to her story and strong emotions. It was amazing for me to believe that just a good listening to her bring healing for her. I helped her to solve her problem with her husband using the problem solving questions I learned from the course. They were really effective and I did not have to work too hard in giving all the solution to her. I now trust that the owner of the problem may have the resources or ways to deal with their problem.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: right;">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-6288841310346745190?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-12376178129016657152009-04-21T15:51:00.001+07:002009-04-21T15:53:42.475+07:00One of the current situations I am involved in concerns a counselor supervisor and one of her staff (also a counselor) whom she is responsible to manage and provide clinical supervision.<br /><br />I have had numerous conversations with the supervisor as the issues around the counselor's work have been on-going over at least 2-years. Some of this has involved venting, but also the supervisor has concerns around the quality of the counselor’s work, the impact on children under her care and other colleagues both within and outside the organization.<br /><br />I have had one meeting with the counselor where she described a couple of situations where she felt that the supervisor’s management and understanding of her situation was lacking. Although the two staff have met together on a few occasions, we had a joint meeting – them and myself, to share understanding around some of the core issues – trust, respect and communications. At this point I have asked them both to do some personal reflection around this and their expectations for themselves. We plan to come together soon and share reflections and see if we can reach some common areas of understanding and how this might look in terms of work-practice.<br /><br /><div align="right"><em>-Female MAC Participant<br /></em><br /></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-1237617812901665715?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-50925793206701403642009-04-21T15:49:00.001+07:002009-04-21T15:51:10.838+07:00It is difficult to love my nephew and before the Peace Bridges training, seeing so much as his foot print would make me have negative feelings. I really can say that I hated him because he is rude and arrogant and embarrassing.<br /><br />I want to talk about the Shalom lessons we had. Right after we had that lesson I became determined to get closer to him and I realized that my desire to just get far away from him would do nothing to help him. I decided then to use him as my moto-dup and try to influence him by loving him. Because he wanted the money he agreed to take me around (though I must say that it was even culturally embarrassing that he would ever take money from his aunt!). He was dismissive and would say things like “if the police arrest me for driving crazy, I’ll just call one of my big friends to get me out”, but I persevered and kept on trying to help to influence him and to love him.<br /><br />Recently he got a job in Koh Kong but he continued being rude- complaining that he had no girls to flirt with. He made me be ashamed but I maintained my determination to remain calm .... I made the decision like Jesus.... Just so, I was given no indication that my nephew would change. I was raised to think that I should get away from all things that don’t seem good but I will stay with my nephew in hopes that one day he will feel my love and have a change of heart.<br /><br /><div align="right"><em>-Female NGO worker, C2</em><br /><br /><br /></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-5092579320670140364?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-14874851065072107032009-04-21T15:46:00.001+07:002009-04-21T15:48:33.415+07:00In a staff meeting there were differing views between myself and one of my staff members. I began to power play, or put my foot down, wanting to end the particular discussion and move on. But I was aware that I was getting very frustrated and impatient while the staff member was getting very upset. Realizing that this wouldn’t be a good/ healthy place to end the discussion, for myself or the staff member, we took extra time to hear and recognize their concerns.<br /><br /><div align="right"><em>-Female MAC Participant<br /></em><br /></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-1487485106507210703?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-8708224856088423802009-04-21T15:41:00.000+07:002009-04-21T15:45:45.014+07:00My younger sister had stomach surgery but even before that she was always was always losing her temper, finding fault with me, and having a lot of expectation that when I came home from work I would spend a few hours cleaning and washing despite having a pretty intense full-time job. I longed for personal time but I could see that my sister feels that she can’t manage (and shouldn’t have to manage) all the chores at home and I’ve gotten better at accepting that this is part of my responsibility at home. I am now much more aware of others’ feelings than before and less tempted to judge my sister and dismiss her as lazy but rather try to be fair and generous and kind because I love her.<br /><br /><div align="right"><em>-Female NGO worker, C2<br /></em><br /></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-870822485608842380?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-31367158799137817242009-04-21T15:33:00.001+07:002009-04-21T15:41:17.868+07:00I want to share a story about what happened with the landlord of our NGO office because it reflects a positive change in me since participating in the course.<br /><br />When we first rented the building we had an agreement that we would initially pay less because we did not use a middle person (who typically gets a commission from the landlord for helping to rent the property). She must have forgotten this because when she came to collect her money and it was less than she expected, she was very angry and rude. I was full of emotion myself and wanted to yell right back ... - but something stopped me from trying to get back at the angry landlord in this way.<br /><br />Instead I remained calm and let her vent her frustration and when she was done screaming at me I asked her to please have a seat and went to retrieve the contract and calmly gave it over to her to review. She was embarrassed and apologetic and, I think, surprised that I was kind to her despite the fact that she was not kind to me.<br /><br /><div align="right"><em>-Female NGO worker, C2<br /></em><br /><br /></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-3136715879913781724?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-35373724039273789882009-04-21T15:30:00.001+07:002009-04-21T15:32:08.702+07:00I recently went to my orchard with his wife where there is a man who works for us by picking fruit. At the end of the day my wife wanted to give him some extra money for his help- 10000 riel - but when she attempted to give him the money he refused to take it – he just kept trying to give it back at us and when we were driving away the guy tossed the note into the car and I just kept it.<br /><br />My wife was very angry at me for not just tossing it out the window and driving off but I could tell he really didn’t want to take money from us that day. I recognized that my wife had a reason to be upset with me because she was trying to be generous and I prevented that plan and so I apologized and rather than getting angry with her for not seeing my side of the story, I accepted that her feelings were right also. I can definitely say that participating in the course has made me a better husband.<br /><br /><div align="right"><em>-Male church pastor, C2 </em><br /><br /><br />div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-3537372403927378988?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-33845077902846577592009-04-21T15:28:00.000+07:002009-04-21T15:29:28.325+07:00My neighbor has many family problems and feels open to share with me about not having enough food to feed his family, poverty, illness, difficulty with his children who skip school and have other problems related to raising teenagers. Before the PEACE BRIDGES course, I struggled with that and other relationships because I’d always thought I had to come up with a solution whenever anyone sought me out for help. I realize that often what people need most is someone to listen to them (regardless of my own temptation to always give something or fix something. I also observe that listening without judging and criticism has resulted in people being more open and hopeful and in the end, this has brought about more healing.<br /><br /><div align="right"><em>-Male church pastor, C2</em><br /><br /></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-3384507790284657759?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-14832488434326361902009-04-21T15:26:00.000+07:002009-04-21T15:27:22.863+07:00There has never been a clear boundary between our primary school in my community and one family’s land that borders on it. This case remains unresolved and has already been considered at the village, commune, and district levels.<br /><br />Sure that their property goes 5 meters into the school yard, the family cleared the land, expanded their pond, and planted a garden. It was only after this was done that the school announced the need for expansion and demanded that the family get off the land that had, until recently been considered part of the school grounds. From the family’s perspective, the school should have made this claim long ago- why wait until now to say it belongs to them and not on the first day they started clearing?<br /><br />The school’s reaction so far has been to get thumb prints from many families to force the family to give up the land but so far they have been unsuccessful. My wife was one of the teachers in the school and was familiar with what I learned from Peace Bridges, particularly related to conflict resolution and told the school principal I might be able to help. I met with him in order to understand the problem from the school’s perspective to better understand the problem and met with the family to understand their perspective and feelings.<br /><br />There had never been any negotiation with the family and the government didn’t do any negotiation- officials just sided with the school and what I figured was the best approach- that the school forget about the paperwork and try promoting a “win-win” situation by negotiating instead of fighting and trying to win. I asked him to maybe think about how to compensate or compromise for a solution that makes everyone happy. I think my role is to help them realize that there were more options and help to facilitate a process where they create options that are satisfactory to both the family and the school. The principal has agreed to allow me to try and help to facilitate generating some options.<br /><br /><div align="right"><em>-Male church pastor, C1</em><br /></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right"> </div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right"> </div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-1483248843432636190?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-41378788371165534492009-04-21T15:23:00.000+07:002009-04-21T15:24:56.267+07:00The assistant pastor of my church is also an assistant village chief in his village. He was a part of a training I did with some church leaders in my church related to the way we analyze conflict and helping people in conflict situations.<br /><br />After the training, he was asked to mediate a land dispute – two individuals in an ongoing heated argument were accusing each other of taking each other’s land. It was quite obvious who the rightful owner was and this was confirmed when the man whom the assistant pastor thought was guilty slipped some money into his pocket the day before the two in conflict were meant to meet with him to mediate the conflict. He came to me and described the situation and I encouraged him for his good analysis and good insight, and asked, “why not go and look at paperwork and do your job to the best of your ability and gather as much information as you can and analyze it."<br /><br />He went to the meeting the next day confident that he had all the facts in order and could look to solve the problem impartially with no bias, just the facts.<br /><br /><div align="right"><em>-Male church assistant pastor, C2</em><br /><br /></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-4137878837116553449?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-36854636922433182112009-04-21T15:03:00.002+07:002009-04-21T15:09:34.716+07:00My niece also is quick to anger. Once recently I locked the doors of the church school without remembering that she needed to get in there to do her job- tidying up and preparing for the group coming to use the room later. She got furious because someone had locked the door and was yelling for everyone to hear and when I came back I apologized for locking the door and showed her where the key was kept. This didn’t seem to help in making her any less angry.<br /><br />The good thing was that I remembered to be respectful even though I wish she hadn’t reacted so strongly and again, I just accepted her despite her anger. People not only have different identities, they also from different perspectives. We can’t assume we have the same understanding towards the same issue. This is always true.<br /><br /><div align="right"><em>-Male church assistant pastor, C2</em><br /></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right"> </div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-3685463692243318211?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-5304361766366344362009-04-21T14:57:00.001+07:002009-04-21T15:01:18.617+07:00I don’t believe that it was the war that resulted in a lack of peace. I don’t remember that forgiveness was something we cared about before that either. It was the same before in that people don’t want to hear negative stuff and didn’t want to talk about what people did wrong. Khmer people don’t want to think about something that has already past if it is negative. This is how it’s always been I think. The training has helped me to understand that peace is something we need desperately here and that if we understand the root of the problem and acknowledge that all those who in conflict are in some way responsible for it and listen and have the desire to forgive and work on forgiving that we can be free from the weight of our problems.<br /><br /><div align="right"><em>-Takeo New Life Trainee<br /></em><br /></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-530436176636634436?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-42165268124180636262009-04-21T14:52:00.002+07:002009-04-21T14:56:12.466+07:00<div align="left">I have to struggle to keep myself from being too proud and I’m still working to fight this- I’m not sure it ever goes away- but I realize now, after the course, more about myself and can admit my weaknesses knowing that all people have them. I was the sort of guy who figured out the status of a group in seconds and decided who I liked and didn’t like accordingly. I was arrogant at work and had little time for those in positions not as senior as my own. I realize this and in doing so have gotten to know people and care for them- the same people that were invisible to me before. </div><div align="right"><em></em> </div><div align="right"><em>-Male NGO worker, C1</em><br /><br /><br />Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-4216526812418063626?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-91247871158420979782009-04-21T14:46:00.002+07:002009-04-21T14:51:52.841+07:00I work with prisoners but I must say that I didn’t like them before I came to this course. The reasons were obvious- they did something wrong, they are poor and not well groomed, they are often not very bright and all this made it easy to judge as not likeable.<br /><br />This course helped me to realize that everyone is different and has problems and it’s those problems that led these people into making bad decisions. I try to remember this always and it helps me have more love and compassion in my work. I think it has actually happened because a funny thing happened to me recently.<br /><br />Someone stole my mobile phone and I was certain it could only have been one person. When I confronted him I was shocked when he readily admitted having done it. When I asked him why, he responded, “Because I needed one and didn’t have the money to pay for it and when I thought about who to take it from, I knew it would be best to take it from you because if I got caught I knew I’d be in a lot less trouble with you than with someone who is not so gentle!” He gave me my phone back and I forgave him.<br /><br /><div align="right"><em>-Male NGO worker, C1</em><br /><br /></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-9124787115842097978?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-33205456919167629712009-04-21T14:28:00.001+07:002009-04-21T14:38:57.224+07:00I am a greeter at the services at my church. Before taking the course I was very judgmental and if I would try to greet someone and they didn’t greet me back I quickly decided I didn’t like them. Now I realize that this doesn’t make any sense because I never did anything wrong and that it’s just a matter of them not seeing me or not registering to say hello.<br /><br /><div align="right"><em>-Female church volunteer, C2</em><br /><br /><br /></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-3320545691916762971?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-66179022150869415692009-04-21T14:22:00.000+07:002009-04-21T14:23:15.804+07:00I have a good marriage but because of PEACE BRIDGES it is now better. My wife was often frustrated because it didn’t feel to her that I listened when she was speaking. I remember once she took my face in her hands, looked into my eyes, and said, “LISTEN TO ME!!!”<br /><br />Before I just thought…oh that’s just the way she is…but I realize that she right and that I could show her I’m focused when she’s trying to tell me something. I admitted for the first time that I didn’t listen as much as she needed me to and that this hurt her. Before I hadn’t thought about how my behavior hurt her and knowing that, because I love her and don’t want to hurt her, I’ve changed.<br /><br /><div align="right"><em>-Male Church assistant pastor, C3</em><br /><br /><br /></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-6617902215086941569?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-52844319264305969272009-04-21T14:18:00.003+07:002009-04-21T14:21:53.433+07:00Two nice people in a small church community had a conflict with one another related to jealousy. Rather than keeping the problem between themselves, both of them shared the story with friends and soon there was a lot of gossip and the conflict got bigger from everyone adding to it.<br /><br />Finally I asked them to sit together with me and just listen to each other so that they could understand and we could put a stop to this conflict that was affecting many more people than just the two of them. Once they resolved their conflict the rest of the group was able to move on as well.<br /><br /><div align="right"><em>-Male Church assistant pastor, C3</em><br /><br /><br /></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-5284431926430596927?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-58462761004092947412009-04-21T14:18:00.002+07:002009-04-21T14:20:59.615+07:00Two nice people in a small church community had a conflict with one another related to jealousy. Rather than keeping the problem between themselves, both of them shared the story with friends and soon there was a lot of gossip and the conflict got bigger from everyone adding to it.<br /><br />Finally I asked them to sit together with me and just listen to each other so that they could understand and we could put a stop to this conflict that was affecting many more people than just the two of them. Once they resolved their conflict the rest of the group was able to move on as well.<br /><br /><div align="right"><em>-Male Church assistant pastor, C3</em><br /><br /><br /></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-5846276100409294741?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-15716908666891827432009-04-21T14:18:00.000+07:002009-04-21T14:20:27.429+07:00Two nice people in a small church community had a conflict with one another related to jealousy. Rather than keeping the problem between themselves, both of them shared the story with friends and soon there was a lot of gossip and the conflict got bigger from everyone adding to it.<br /><br />Finally I asked them to sit together with me and just listen to each other so that they could understand and we could put a stop to this conflict that was affecting many more people than just the two of them. Once they resolved their conflict the rest of the group was able to move on as well.<br /><br /><div align="right"><em>-Male Church assistant pastor, C3</em><br /><br /><br /></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-1571690866689182743?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-68391668166997805502009-04-21T14:01:00.001+07:002009-04-21T14:06:08.034+07:00There are often conflicts among prisoners and it’s my job to keep things under control. Recently there was a conflict between the senior prisoner in his cell and a guy who was always causing problems. This was just after I finished the training (a PEACE BRIDGES graduate) and I decided to address the problem differently than I always had before. I met with each of two guys separately to understand his side of the story and then brought them together to talk about how to avoid such conflicts in the future.<br /><br /><div align="left">I was amazed that they were honestly able to solve their conflict in this peaceful way. Up until that point, I was the one to take the decision and offer the punishment. You ask me what I would have done in a situation like this before the Peace Bridges training. The answer is simple: I would have simply sided with the one I liked best. Always. And now I realize that this is not fair and it’s not right so I won’t do this anymore. Now I want justice and I wasn’t so interested in this before- I just wanted order.</div><div align="right"><br /><em>-Male prison official, trained by C2 participant<br /></em><br /></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-6839166816699780550?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-5109195840071013862009-04-21T13:57:00.004+07:002009-04-21T14:03:08.666+07:00I think empathy is what I remember most about the training. My house is off the main road, down a slight hill. I noticed one day that our road was getting muddy and this had never been a problem before. On my way home from work I saw that the problem was the result of a family on the main road blocking the usual drainage system, causing my road to start to flood. This made me angry and I decided to go and confront them.<br /><br /><div align="left">On my way to the house something reminded me to consider why they might have decided to block the road in the first place…I don’t know what it was…just a nagging reminder. So when I got there, I didn’t begin by scolding him but rather by asking him the simple question of why he’d decided to stop the drainage. He proceeded to tell me that his family was really suffering from a lack of water to grow their home garden and he was desperate to get water so his vegetables would grow and he’d have food to feed his family. Well, guess what, all the sudden my road didn’t seem so flooded any longer. I realized that I could live with a little mud so that he could have enough water. Now when we see each other we are friendly whereas before we didn’t even notice one another.</div><div align="right"><br /><br /><em>-Prison Official, trained by C2 participant<br /></em><br /><br /></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-510919584007101386?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-71582239913519599882009-04-21T13:53:00.000+07:002009-04-21T13:56:17.615+07:00In my church we have a motorcycle that is used by staff to run errands and there are two people who usually use it. One person is very relaxed and the other is very responsible. I noticed that a conflict was brewing when the second man, during church committee meetings would constantly insult the first man and it was very uncomfortable for everyone at the meetings, particularly the first man as he couldn’t figure out what he had done wrong.<br /><br />Finally I took the second man aside and asked him why he was acting so aggressively towards the first man and he said that it was because that guy was using the motorcycle too much and most certainly for errands that were not related to church business. After giving this some thought, I had to say I was sorry to him that he had this worry and thank him for trying to be so responsible with church property and said I would speak to the first man.<br /><br />Then I met with the first man and asked him about his feelings. He said he was hurt because he had no idea what he’d done wrong. I then said that I also needed to apologize to him because actually if I had been more clear about expectations for use of the motorcycle this never would have happened. Then I called the whole committee together for a prayer service which helped us get back on track as a group and when I met with the 2 guys together afterwards they shared their stories had a lot of compassion towards each other. The first man forgave the second one for being mean and the second one forgave me and they are now friends once again.<br /><br /><div align="right"><em>-Male church pastor, C2<br /></em><br /><br /></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-7158223991351959988?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-75319676765591026122009-04-21T13:52:00.000+07:002009-04-21T13:53:02.359+07:00I worked for a long time with an expat who complained a lot about staff who wanted more salary and always reminded me that he was working as a missionary. This was annoying because it’s true that he didn’t have a lot of money like other people but still he lived in a beautiful house, with his kids in the best school, and plenty of expensive food to eat.<br /><br />I think the course helped me with patience and to know that when I speak up (and I did challenge him on this) that there is a right way of speaking so that the person you’re talking to can hear you and will want to understand. This was important in that case.<br /><br /><div align="right"><em>-Female NGO worker, C2</em><br /><br /><br /></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-7531967676559102612?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-9743427268586239722009-04-21T13:45:00.000+07:002009-04-21T13:51:00.064+07:00I am ethnic Vietnamese and have had many, many occasions where I have suffered because of stereotypes and generalizations. I remember when I went into labor with my first daughter and my husband and I couldn’t find a hospital willing to help to deliver my baby because I’m Vietnamese (finally we miraculously ran into a doctor who knew my husband and he saved us by taking us to his clinic).<br /><br />Before I just lived with that struggle accepting my fate as someone who would have to live as the victim of prejudice but now I feel much more confident and accept that I have to be determined to show people that I am me…I am not the entire Vietnamese race.<br /><br />PEACE BRIDGES also forced me to think about my own faults and the part I play in feeding conflicts and I’m sure that I’m a better person for it. Also because of the course, the few people in my life who really get to me because of my ethnicity- with small jabs and insults- no longer have that power. Yes, they still insult me but I don’t allow their insults to control my feelings.<br /><br /><div align="right"><em>-Female NGO worker, C2<br /></em><br /><br /></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-974342726858623972?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-7178492138768947152009-04-21T13:43:00.001+07:002009-04-21T13:44:21.457+07:00I notice that now that I have these new skills from the Peace Bridges training, that people in my village seek me out to help them solve their problems....<br /><br />There was one couple recently who was having lots of problems with their teenage son. At first he was skipping school and then gambling and the final “straw” (something that seems quite minor which proves too much to tolerate) was when he sold the father’s warm coat to pay off a gambling debt. A loud alteration resulted in the son leaving home and going to stay at his grandmother’s house. The mother, distraught, came to see me to ask for advice on how to repair the relationship with the son.<br /><br />My advice to her was to recognize that anger exists but to be careful not to give it too much ability to control us. I said go and visit the son regularly at the grandmother’s, with no agenda other than letting him know that you have not forgotten him and that you love him, and so that you know that he is still there and safe. The mother did this a few times and then finally the son was ready to explain to her his anxiety over not being a good student and the pressures he felt from his father who was constantly criticizing him. The mother then went back to her husband and described the son’s frustration. She then returned to the son and explained that because the son was his oldest, he wanted him to be the best that he could be. Upon hearing this, the son returned home.<br /><br /><div align="right"><em>-Male NGO worker, C2<br /></em><br /><br /></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-717849213876894715?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-36728853848022863752009-04-21T13:37:00.003+07:002009-04-21T13:41:41.303+07:00I am a counselor at a 3-month shelter for girls and women who are the victims of sexual abuse. Lessons on shalom and listening are most important for me. Even though I can do my job effectively, I was always very quick to judge people and decide that I knew everything that was important to know about them.<br /><br />Sex workers are the hardest to love. They are trained in their profession to lie and keep their mouths shut. Now I listen, even when they are lying. And I sit with them as they tell lies or they say nothing- sometimes an hour, sometimes 45 minutes. My job is to listen. ...<br /><br />Before participating in the course, I dismissed all those girls who seemed to lie about everything- their age, where they come from, their lives- I was able to dismiss them by thinking there was no way I could help them and also that they didn’t want my help anyway because they wouldn’t talk to me truthfully. Now I am determined to just be there with them without any agenda. Let them speak or draw or whatever, the role for me is to just be with them and help them to feel that they are not alone.<br /><br />There was another girl recently, who came to us very traumatized. She refused to speak at all and during our first visit we sat for over an hour together and didn’t say a word. The next visit, after 45 minutes, I asked her if she liked to draw and she nodded and drew a rose and then I asked her who the rose reminded her of and she wrote the word “mother” on the paper and then I asked her if she’d like to write about her mother and she started writing and writing and writing. And after that, after she began to trust me, she opened up to me and shared her stories and her experiences.<br /><br />I’ll never forget the lessons from Peace Bridges- get to the core of the main problem, help people to voice their feelings, and provide them with the opportunity to consider how they might solve the problem. It’s amazing, but those three simple questions have helped me tremendously.<br /><br /><div align="right"><em>-Female NGO worker, C2<br /></em><br /><br /></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-3672885384802286375?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-32703922926023943922009-04-21T13:36:00.000+07:002009-04-21T13:37:09.812+07:00I know a woman whose husband fell in love with their housekeeper and left the wife to care for the children alone. She was crazy and distraught when this happened and came to me because she had no one else to talk to.<br /><br />I met with her every week just to listen to her- usually we took a walk- along the river front or in town and I don’t think I said anything at all during those walks, just listened to her talk about how difficult her situation was. I don’t know what she would have done had she not had that chance to talk about what she was going through. We did this for 6 months…every week…and finally she got through it and felt strong enough to accept this new way of life. I didn’t pass judgment on the husband or share any opinions about their situation. My role was merely to listen.<br /><br /><div align="right"><em>- Female NGO worker, C2<br /></em><br /><br /></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-3270392292602394392?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-61118218473488752752009-04-21T13:17:00.002+07:002009-04-21T13:34:13.474+07:00One day a friend phoned me and proceeded to yell at me over the phone. I tried at first to stop her from yelling but she wouldn’t let me so I just let her carry even though she was wrong in the accusations she was making against me as she yelled.<br /><br />Despite not having done anything wrong I said I was sorry- this was a very dear friend of mine- but she wouldn’t hear any of it and just hung up the phone. She got married shortly thereafter and didn’t invite me to her wedding. It was only later that another friend told her she had been wrong in accusing me and she came back to apologize. Yes, I do still feel bad about what happened but being aware of my feelings I can better control myself and not let those feelings control my actions.<br /><br /><div align="right"><em>- Female NGO worker, C2</em><br /><br /><br /></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-6111821847348875275?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-28975346001839311602009-04-21T13:14:00.001+07:002009-04-21T13:16:25.113+07:00One day we went out for breakfast with a few friends and afterwards, my wife wanted to go into the market with a few of them and left me with our baby daughter. It seemed that the minute my wife was out of sight, our baby started screaming and there was nothing I could do to comfort her. I tried and tried and after about 20 minutes I tried to phone my wife and she did not answer.<br /><br />When she finally came back it was nearly an hour later and I was furious. I told her quietly but very clearly, “We are going to talk about this when we get home.” We sat in silence in the tuk tuk and when we got home I went to my room and she went to nurse our baby and put her to sleep. As I sat there I was going through all the harsh things I was going to say to her…about this and also about all the other things that bother me about her… but then I remembered something from the course… I wonder why she took so long in the market. Could she possibly have a reason for being away so long?<br /><br />A little while later she came in rather sheepishly and said, “We should talk, right?” ready for me to start screaming at her. Instead, much to her obvious amazement, I calmly asked her, “What took you so long in the market? And why didn’t you answer the phone when I called you.” Her answer was simple, she had heard that one could get a second-hand baby carrier at the market and 2 sellers sent her to different parts of the market where she might find one (hmmm…I thought to myself, she was also thinking about the wellbeing of our baby!). And regarding the phone, a vendor told her that the previous day, someone in the market had her phone stolen so it was important to put it deep into ones bag or pocket so that, coupled with the noise of the market, made it impossible for her to hear it.<br /><br />I heard her side of the story and was very much aware that she had done nothing wrong. She agreed with me that an hour was too long to be away from our baby and won’t do that again but that whole situation and the way we talked about it was very good for our marriage.<br /><br /><div align="right"><em>-Male church co-pastor, C3<br /></em><br /><br /></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-2897534600183931160?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-7373020555897665702009-04-21T13:11:00.001+07:002009-04-21T13:13:18.799+07:00I’ve worked with the Women’s Commission for a long time and I knew from early in the course that this was going to be extremely useful.<br /><br />I was struck by the fact that people just don’t listen and don’t worry so much about understanding. Most people also lack problem solving skills. We like to speak out and react but after studying I realized that I need to slow down and listen and wait for a solution rather than deciding on the solution and then matching it to a problem. I know it sounds backwards but it’s really how I used to do things.<br /><br />I also know that prayer is essential for me in order to get clarity and understand information from others and understand their perspective. This is especially important, for women, I think, because we tend to operate from our emotions, need lots of encouragement, and we grateful when it feels like people are listening carefully to what we have to say. Three of my staff have done the PEACE BRIDGES course because we recognize just how important it is for our target group.<br /><br /><div align="right"><em>-Female NGO staff, C1</em><br /><br /><br /></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-737302055589766570?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-37630399695237084062009-04-21T13:09:00.000+07:002009-04-21T13:10:56.672+07:00Learning about forgiveness has been very useful to me in my job also. There were two families in our church who never got along. I can’t even remember what it was that started the conflict. Before taking the PEACE BRIDGES course I saw my role in relating to them very differently- just wanting to insure that they didn’t make other people uncomfortable because they didn’t like each other.<br /><br />Now I see that I have a responsibility to ask them questions in order for them to reflect on their roles in the conflict. It took about a year to help them see things from the other family’s perspective but I never gave up trying. That is my job as their pastor.<br /><br /><div align="right"><em>-Male church co-pastor, C3</em><br /><br /><br /></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-3763039969523708406?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-74703309589414686392009-04-21T13:07:00.000+07:002009-04-21T13:08:41.221+07:00There are a lot of problems at our church center and I thought before that it was my main job to give advice and solve problems for people and now I know that the better I am at listening the more effective I am as a leader.<br /><br />From the PEACE BRIDGES course I learned that there is distinct process to follow in working with people: First, be quiet and let them tell their story. Allow them to hear it from themselves and then review it with them to be sure that I understand. I try to help them to think about and learn forgiveness.<br /><br /><div align="right"><em>-Male church co-pastor, C3<br /></em><br /><br /></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-7470330958941468639?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-11368819041100376392009-04-21T13:05:00.000+07:002009-04-21T13:06:24.083+07:00There are 3 pastors in our church and we all share the responsibilities but the emphasis of my work is on pastoral care. We have our church work (50% of my time) and also have a school and center in Kandal. Before I went to the Peace Bridges course I sometimes felt like the “odd man out” and that they would join forces to make a decision and I would serve have an opposite idea and feel left out.<br /><br />Nowadays, though, I remind myself to understand their goals and rather than getting my feelings hurt I remind myself that I trust them. When I feel like quitting I know it’s because of my ego- that I’m too wrapped up in my self and judgmental and then I stop and think, “No, think about this situation without being selfish” and my harsh feelings soften.<br /><br /><div align="right">-<em>Male church co-pastor, C3</em><br /><br /><br /></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-1136881904110037639?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-71893987940270058792009-04-21T13:02:00.000+07:002009-04-21T13:03:59.298+07:00I was working for an expat related to my church and was asked to wash his motorcycle. When washing it I accidentally broke the rear-view mirror. My first thought was, “just don’t admit it. He’ll never know I did it. Just deny it, no one saw me do it.”<br /><br />Then I remembered that the truth is what is most important and that it would be easier living with the fact that I made a careless mistake and admitted it than living with this however minor deception. When I told him I was so grateful that he thanked me for admitting that I’d done it and said it was not a problem and that I could replace the mirror and forget about it. I didn’t forget though, it’s a reminder to me every time I feel like denying a mistake I’ve made.<br /><br /><div align="right"><em>-Male church assistant pastor, C1<br /></em><br /><br /></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-7189398794027005879?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-66060950223086075252009-04-21T12:58:00.000+07:002009-04-21T12:59:33.489+07:00The course was extremely valuable to me. Anyone would tell you that before I was the one to judge quickly who was right and who was wrong and now I can see the importance of listening and asking questions. Before if there was a small problem I didn’t really worry about it and if it was a big problem I didn’t dare to attempt to help solve it. I didn’t want to hear sad stories and would tell people to not focus on bad or sad feelings – which they should just to push those aside and get on with what they needed to do. I was always right.<br /><br />Funny, I don’t know how I did my job well before understanding what the course taught me about the importance of getting all sides of the story before I just assume I understand as well as empathy.<br /><div align="right"><br /><em>-Male NGO staff, C1</em><br /><br /><br /></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-6606095022308607525?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-67435201588142478692009-04-21T12:56:00.000+07:002009-04-21T12:57:45.425+07:00My 5-year old son killed a baby chick and hid it under a bowl. When my wife came home she found it and was furious- yelling and screaming and wanting to know who had killed it. Of course none of the children wanted to admit it because they feared getting beaten.<br /><br />A few hours later my young son came to find me and said, “Pa, there is something I want to tell you but please don’t tell Ma.” I knew what he was going to say but I just waited and said, “What is it?” “I killed the chick. I was just playing with it and I don’t know why but it just died. Please don’t tell.”<br /><br />In the past I would have punished him by hitting him or bringing him right to his mother for punishment but that time, I thanked him for telling the truth and told him that he wouldn’t be beaten and that I’d need to tell his mom but would wait until later when I was sure she would be less angry and I would also tell her how sad he was and how fearful he was to tell her the truth.<br /><br />“In the future,” I asked, “will you play roughly with a baby chick?” “No,” he replied. And when I asked why and he said because he didn’t want his mother to hit him, I said to him, “No, let the reason for not playing too roughly be that you have to be gentler, not that you may get in trouble for doing something wrong.”<br /><br /><div align="right"><em>-Male church pastor, C2</em><br /><br /><br /></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-6743520158814247869?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-44495455493665582682009-04-21T12:55:00.001+07:002009-04-21T12:55:57.390+07:00Before when there was a problem in our house I always, I mean 100% of the time, blamed my wife. It was always her fault and now I think…hmmm, I guess I added to this problem or I’m the one who started this, or maybe I don’t fully understanding this situation.<br /><br />Before I always looked for excuses and now I am certain that the truth is most important. Even though in Cambodia it is perceived as a weakness, I have the habit of saying I’m sorry even to people who are younger than me. It might look strange but it’s the right thing to do.<br /><br /><div align="right"><em>-Male church pastor, C2</em><br /><br /><br /></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-4449545549366558268?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-48145647652107570842009-04-21T12:52:00.000+07:002009-04-21T12:54:10.866+07:00I wanted to join this training because my friend participated in a previous PEACE BRIDGES course and I saw that it changed him- he was more thoughtful and considerate. I wanted more skills to help solve problems related to jealousy and conflict and learn about right speech and listening and to learn to take care not to be in the habit of using a “forked tongue”- just speaking without honestly thinking about what I should say.<br /><br />Before I was more like a person who was quick to anger and not I find I’m better at thinking before I speak. Also, I see that often I would say things that have already been said just to hear myself contribute something. I’m also not so bossy as I was before.<br /><div align="right"><br /><em>-Rural male church pastor, C2<br /></em><br /><br /></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-4814564765210757084?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-39302286589753110802009-04-21T12:48:00.001+07:002009-04-21T12:50:56.630+07:00The most important lesson for me was in developing listening skills. I’m a pastor so people allow me to talk a lot and it’s nice talking a lot but I realize that if I want to be a good pastor, an effective pastor, I have to be a good listener.<br /><br />I now know how to ask questions so that people can figure out how to solve their own problems. I used to think that my main role was to give good advice and I haven’t stopped doing that. If I have a suggestion and share it in the form of a question without the expectation that they will follow it according to my desire, they can still get help from me but decide if it’s the way they want to solve the problem or not and not feel bad if they choose to take a different solution.<br /><br /><div align="right"><em>-Male NGO worker and pastor, C1<br /></em><br /><br /></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-3930228658975311080?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-28311528727308938262009-04-21T12:44:00.001+07:002009-04-21T12:45:55.626+07:00At our center we bought a bike to be shared by two of the staff there. At first it worked out fine, with each one using the bike 3 days but then one of them wanted to have transportation more readily available and so she borrowed money to buy a 2nd bike. Then she went to the other staff and said that they should sell the church bicycle and split the money evenly. You can imagine that this came as a surprise to the first woman because she would be without transportation if the bike was sold.<br /><br />They had a conflict between them and so I, with the new skills from Peace Bridges, was faced with the challenge of insuring a “win-win” situation. I met with each of them to help them to understand the other’s feelings. Once the second woman saw that she had made the decision alone to buy the bike and that it wasn’t fair to just assume that it would be OK to sell the church bike she admitted that she’d made a mistake. She understands that she is still welcome to use the church bicycle when she needs it and the two women seem closer having resolved the problem respectfully.<br /><div align="right"><br /><em>- Male Co-pastor, C3</em><br /><br /><br /></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-2831152872730893826?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-29486248746452811852009-04-21T12:37:00.001+07:002009-04-21T12:43:05.300+07:00What did I learn from my training at Peace Bridges? Everybody wants peace. Everyone needs to acknowledge weaknesses…there are always failures on everyone’s part because no one is perfect. Christians have to be an example, it’s a basic principle for us. It’s totally natural to “give bad to bad”- if someone hurts me, I won’t feel bad if they suffer as well. ... in my teaching as a pastor I would speak in general terms but never quite scratching the place that itched. Now I think I am better at getting to the heart of the matter. That and somehow I’m also more gentle.<br /><br />I think I have a lot of influence on the volunteers at church who manage activities for women, youth, and the preschool. I set the standard but no longer by being a mean boss whom they should fear- all that amounted to was “in one ear and out the other”. At first, when I started to change my attitude, it drove them crazy that the boss would acknowledge his mistakes but I kept doing it and finally they saw the value in it.<br /><br />I can see that I have more respect than before and not just for Christians. I am aware when I’m tempted to generalize and judge people – for years I did that and it’s difficult to break old habits but now there is something in my brain that tells me to stop when I’m doing it. We have to love our neighbors and not just the ones we want to love but all of them. We are not just here to live our lives into get to heaven. We have an obligation to encourage each other to be good.<br /><br /><div align="right"><em>-Male Church Pastor, C3<br /></em><br /><br /></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-2948624874645281185?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-47350679197330024512009-04-21T12:35:00.000+07:002009-04-21T12:37:00.156+07:00I know a couple who was fighting a lot and they were to the point of dividing up their children and divorcing. One of our staff sat them down and made it a rule that they had to listen until the other was completely done speaking and that only afterwards they could ask questions. The husband spoke for a very long time and the wife finally asked some very good questions that made him stop and think about her feelings. She did the same, spoke about all her pain and then he asked her some questions. This was the first time they’d ever done something like this and really tried to listen to each other and understand how the other was feeling and how their words and actions affected the other. Our staff was very glad to be a part of providing this kind of support.<br /><div align="right"><br /><em>-Female NGO staff member, C1<br /></em><br /></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-4735067919733002451?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-17229422983436396182009-04-21T12:30:00.001+07:002009-04-21T12:33:22.529+07:00The training has been most useful with assistant pastors with whom I work I challenge them to stop always acting like the big guy. I’ve started being more clear about my expectations as their “manager”- that I expect them to be open and good at listening and at not judging. ... I must always remind them to just gather information first, without seeing themselves as the one to fix the problem. It’s also related to trust. When I stop and remind myself that I need to trust these people and respect them I find that I’m always more open.<br /><div align="right"><br /><em>- Male church pastor, C1<br /></em></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right" align="left"><br /></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right"></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-1722942298343639618?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-87091502880761786382008-11-26T10:42:00.009+07:002010-04-23T11:11:16.415+07:00One of the highlights of peacebuilding is hearing the stories and seeing the ways that lives have been changed for the better, despite the stressful situations with long histories of trouble and conflict where peacebuilders often find themselves working. We want to celebrate the daily glimpses of hope and change that they dedicate their lives to encouraging.<br /><br /><a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/chickens-trainings-and-thankfulness.html">Chickens, Trainings and Thankfulness</a><br /><br />A few months ago a chicken was stolen from the home of a poor family in a village north east of Phnom Penh, and Ming knew exactly who had stolen her family’s chicken: the village ‘bad boy.’<br /><br /><a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/04/from-training-in-classroom-to.html">From Training in a Classroom to Transformation in a Prison</a><br /><br />Last month I travelled about four hours drive from Phnom Penh to a provincial prison to hear the health education officer share his concern for the safety and emotional well being of prisoners. His story opens a window into how Peace Bridges transfers training in a class room to transformation in a community.<br /><br />STORIES OF SIGNIFICANT CHANGE<br /><br />Peace Bridges collects stories of change as part of our ongoing monitoring and evaluation.<br /><br />1. <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2010/04/learning-to-listen.html">Learning to Listen</a>: a pastor witnesses the healing power of listening to others (March 2010).<br /><br />2. <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2010/04/released-from-bitterness.html">Released From Bitterness</a>: a sister realizes that by holding a grudge she was only punishing her self (March 2010).<br /><br />3. <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2010/04/stereotyping-and-discrimination.html">Stereotyping &amp; Discrimination</a>: a Cambodian begins to see beyond a prejudice for Thai people (March 2010).<br /><br /><br />*****<br /><br />In the February 2009 external evaluation (<a href="http://sites.google.com/site/peacebridgesresources/Home/Appendix2_PBEval26Febsubmission%283%29.doc?attredirects=0">DOWNLOAD HERE</a>), Patty Curran documented over 40 stories of significant change. These short, simple stories from everyday life illustrate the efficiency, effectiveness, and sustainability of Peace Bridges' work, as well as inspiring hope.<br /><br />1. <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2009/04/acting-like-big-guy.html">Acting Like the Big Guy</a>: modeling open relationships in a supervisory role.<br /><br />2. <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2009/04/first-time.html">The First Time</a>: a husband and wife learn to listen to each other.<br /><br />3. <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2009/04/somehow-im-also-more-gentle.html">Somehow I'm Also More Gentle</a>: a pastor reflects on moving from fear and judgment to gentleness.<br /><br />4. <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2009/04/bicycle.html">The Bicycle</a>: a go-between helps parties settle a dispute over a shared bicycle.<br /><br />5. <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2009/04/people-can-solve-their-problems.html">People Can Solve Their Problems:</a> a pastor learns to give advice without assuming he knows best.<br /><br />6.<a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2009/04/forked-tongue.html"> A Forked Tongue</a>: a peace builder learns about right speech.<br /><br />7. <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2009/04/100-of-time.html">100% of the Time</a>: a husband reflects on how he used to blame his wife and how moving away from blame and shame has affected him.<br /><br />8. <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2009/04/baby-chick.html">The Baby Chick</a>: a father reflects on how Peace Bridges' training affected the way he handled his child's accidental killing of a baby chick.<br /><br />9.<a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2009/04/i-was-always-right.html"> I Was Always Right</a>: an NGO worker reflects on how his attitudes and perceptions of himself have changed and its impact on his work.<br /><br />10. "<a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2009/04/just-dont-admit-it.html">Just Don't Admit It</a>": a peace builder refects on his changed perspective on being honest about mistakes.<br /><br />11. "<a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2009/04/my-harsh-feelings-soften.html">My Harsh Feelings Soften</a>": a co-pastor reflects on the role of identity in blaming and judgmental thoughts.<br /><br />12. "<a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2009/04/first-be-quiet.html">First, Be Quiet</a>": a pastor learns to listen and understand as the first step.<br /><br />13. <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2009/04/it-took-about-year.html">It Took About a Year</a>: a pastor helps two families in conflict hear each others' perspectives.<br /><br />14. <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2009/04/wait-for-solution.html">Wait for a Solution</a>: a peace builder reflects on listening to understand.<br /><br />15. <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2009/04/ready-for-me-to-start-screaming.html">Ready for Me to Start Screaming</a>: A husband and wife learn the value of slowing down and listening as a first option.<br /><br />16. <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2009/04/being-aware-of-my-feelings.html">Being Aware of My Feelings</a>: A false accusation between friends stirs strong emotions, but awareness of those emotions can help us choose wise responses.<br /><br />17. <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2009/04/usually-we-took-walk.html">Usually We Took a Walk</a>: a woman in a difficult domestic circumstance finds support in a friend who will listen.<br /><br />18. <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2009/04/they-are-not-alone.html">They Are Not Alone:</a> an NGO worker creates a safe place for victims of sex trafficking to open up.<br /><br />19. <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2009/04/with-no-agenda.html">With No Agenda</a>: a mother finds support to help the family reconcile with the son by showing love and concern.<br /><br />20. <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2009/04/no-longer-have-that-power.html">No Longer Have That Power</a>: A Vietnamese-Cambodia is empowered to deal with racism in a healthy way.<br /><br />21. <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2009/04/right-way-of-speaking.html">A Right Way of Speaking</a>: a woman finds the patience and the voice to deal with a perception-based conflict with a foreign missionary.<br /><br />22. <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2009/04/company-motorcycle.html">The Company Motorcycle</a>: a pastor finds a way to proactively engage a conflict between two men over the use of the company motorcycle.<br /><br />23. <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2009/04/i-could-live-with-little-mud_80.html">I Could Live With a Little Mud</a>: an angry neighbor takes time to understand why his road is flooding.<br /><br />24. <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2009/04/siding-with-one-i-liked-best.html">Siding With the One I Liked Best</a>: a prison official finds a new way to handle conflicts between inmates.<br /><br />25. <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2009/04/sit-together-with-me_6594.html">Sit Together With Me</a>: jealousy turned to conflict and gossip is resolved through sitting down together with a go-between.<br /><br />26. <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2009/04/dont-want-to-hurt-her.html">Don't Want to Hurt Her</a>: a husband reflects on how important listening is to his relationship with his wife.<br /><br />27. <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2009/04/greetings.html">Greetings</a>: a church greeter learns to let go of judgments.<br /><br />28. <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2009/04/mobile-phone.html">The Mobile Phone</a>: an NGO worker confronts the person who stole his phone and learns about his own reputation.<br /><br />29. <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2009/04/invisible.html">Invisibl</a>e: an NGO worker learns to take time for the people who normally would overlook.<br /><br />30. <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2009/04/root-of-problem.html">The Root of the Problem</a>: a trainnee reflects on the need for forgiveness in Cambodian society.<br /><br />31. <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2009/04/despite-her-anger.html">Despite Her Anger</a>: accepting a niece in her anger, a pastor lets go of assumptions about identity and perspectives.<br /><br />32. <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2009/04/land-dispute.html">A Land Dispute</a>: an assistant village chief is able to think clearly about a land dispute using conflict analysis tools.<br /><br />33. <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2009/04/school-yard.html">The School Yard</a>: a peace builder is asked to help mediate a dispute over property boundaries.<br /><br />34. <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2009/04/what-people-need-most.html">What People Need Most</a>: a pastor discovers that sometimes healing comes from being a listening presence.<br /><br />35. <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2009/04/recognition.html">Recognition</a>: a husband pays attention to his wife when her attempts to tip a fruit picker don't work out.<br /><br />36. <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2009/04/surprised-that-i-was-kind.html">Surprised that I Was Kind</a>: a tenant/landlord argument is handled with patience and kindness.<br /><br />37. <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2009/04/more-aware-less-tempted.html">More Aware, Less Tempted</a>: a sister reflects on how being more aware of others' feelings helps her be less judgmental and more kind.<br /><br />38. <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2009/04/putting-my-foot-down.html">Putting My Foot Down</a>: staff members take the time to hear each others' concerns, rather than aggravating their frustration.<br /><br />39. <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2009/04/i-will-stay.html">I Will Stay</a>: an aunt decides to persevere in her love and compassion for her nephew.<br /><br />40. <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2009/04/building-understanding.html">Building Understanding</a>: a peace builder is slowly helping two work colleagues reflect on what understanding and healthy communication could mean for them.<br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: right;">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-8709150288076178638?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-46268675977904187232008-11-06T12:45:00.006+07:002008-11-27T11:17:38.713+07:00<div align="right"><em>by Barry Higgins</em></div><p><br />A few months ago a chicken was stolen from the home of a poor family in a village north east of Phnom Penh, and Ming knew exactly who had stolen her family’s chicken: the village ‘bad boy.’<br /><br />In the absence of a just judicial system it is not uncommon for a person identified as a thief to suffer greatly at the hands of an angry, frustrated community. So instead of publicly identifying the thief, Ming went to the home of this young man and explained to him the extent to which her family had been affected by the loss of this chicken. As subsistence farmers living hand to mouth, the loss of their only chicken was a significant blow to the whole family.<br /><br />Two days later the thief turned up at Ming’s home in tears, carrying the chicken. Ming was stunned to hear the young man apologise and admit that he had never thought about how much his crimes impacted upon his victims.<br /><br />Why am I so excited about this stolen chicken?<br /><br />Four years ago a man from this province, Lokru, graduated from Peace Bridges’ Certificate in Conflict Counselling and Mediation. Since then Lokru has facilitated many trainings in his province using Peace Bridges resources, sharing his new skills and knowledge with countless people, including Bong. Bong became so excited about the ideas covered in the course that he in turn used the Peace Bridges resources to teach people in his village about non-violent conflict resolution and peacemaking. One of the many people who heard this message from Bong was Ming, who in turn has helped turn around the life of a troubled young man.<br /><br />While visiting the province last month, it was exciting to sit in on peace building trainings being run in the prison as well as to observe Bong and Lokru facilitating their latest round of training, this time with Catholic priests and lay people from every parish in eastern Cambodia. The last couple of years Bong has focused on equipping the Protestant churches, but the Catholic church heard about the impacts of the training and asked him to share the ideas with their leaders.<br /><br />We’re hearing an increasing number of these stories of small transformations in the lives of people around the country and they are a great source of encouragement to us.<br /></p><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: right">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-4626867597790418723?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8641435784528722703.post-67041990623219360772008-04-25T10:50:00.003+07:002008-11-26T10:54:13.524+07:00<div align="right"><em>by Barry Higgins</em></div><br />Last month I travelled about four hours drive from Phnom Penh to a provincial prison to hear the health education officer share his concern for the safety and emotional well being of prisoners. His story opens a window into how Peace Bridges transfers training in a class room to transformation in a community.<br /><br />The urgency in his voice struck me -<br /><blockquote>“The way inmates are treated by guards in prison will impact how they live in the community upon release. When injustice prevails in the prison, it does not allow for positive transformation!” </blockquote><br />He knows that the system not only contains violence but creates it. He’s wants to make a difference and asked me what Peace Bridges can do to help.<br /><br />Together, we are helping. The health education officer and fifteen other prison guards have recently begun a training program supporting them to listen with respect and respond to prisoners without violence. Eventually Peace Bridges hopes to see every prison guard develop habits of non – violence.<br /><br /><span class="fullpost">So how did this peacebuilder become passionate about non-violence? He noticed the impacts the Peace Bridges' lessons on active listening and responding without violence was having on the prisoners. Prisoners exposed to the training were more successful at reintegrating with family and community. As one prisoner commented -<br /><br /><blockquote>“If only I learnt these things before, maybe I wouldn’t have ended up in this place!” </blockquote><br />The lessons the prisoners were learning – and the changes they were making - were noticed. And a step was taken - someone asked for help in training and equipping the prison guards.<br /><br />And how did Peace Bridges get involved in the prison? We became involved when a graduate of the Certificate in Conflict Counselling and Mediation Training sought to apply what he had learnt in his local prison work. Now Peace Bridges supports him and a local organisation he belongs to run more training there.<br /><br />Our end goal is to build the capability of this organisation so they won’t need our help any more. Then we can support other peacebuilders in other places. </span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: right;">Return to <a href="http://pbstories.blogspot.com/2008/11/stories-of-transformation.html">Stories Index</a><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8641435784528722703-6704199062321936077?l=pbstories.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peace Bridgesnoreply@blogger.com