I notice that now that I have these new skills from the Peace Bridges training, that people in my village seek me out to help them solve their problems....
There was one couple recently who was having lots of problems with their teenage son. At first he was skipping school and then gambling and the final “straw” (something that seems quite minor which proves too much to tolerate) was when he sold the father’s warm coat to pay off a gambling debt. A loud alteration resulted in the son leaving home and going to stay at his grandmother’s house. The mother, distraught, came to see me to ask for advice on how to repair the relationship with the son.
My advice to her was to recognize that anger exists but to be careful not to give it too much ability to control us. I said go and visit the son regularly at the grandmother’s, with no agenda other than letting him know that you have not forgotten him and that you love him, and so that you know that he is still there and safe. The mother did this a few times and then finally the son was ready to explain to her his anxiety over not being a good student and the pressures he felt from his father who was constantly criticizing him. The mother then went back to her husband and described the son’s frustration. She then returned to the son and explained that because the son was his oldest, he wanted him to be the best that he could be. Upon hearing this, the son returned home.
With No Agenda
-Male NGO worker, C2
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